Main ek runner hoon.
Aur iss waqt… injured hoon.
Aaj, saalon baad cycle uthayi. Dil mein tha Bruce Wayne, par road pe bana Munna Bhai – ek haath handle pe, doosra dard pe.
Aur tabhi saamne se aaya – ek asli, khoon se bana hua, imported-geared, lycra-se-liptaa hua True Blood Cyclist. Uski chaal mein tha confidence. Meri pedal mein tha confusion.
Bas fir kya… yeh blog likhna zaroori ho gaya.
1. Pehchaan Kaise Karein – Kapdo Se!
👑 True Blood Cyclist (TBC):
- Team jersey jo Tour de France se zyada tight hai.
- Shoes aise ki road pe bhi click-click karte hain – jaise mujra ho raha ho.
- Helmet jaise fighter jet ke pilot ka ho. Har vent se attitude nikalta hai.
🩹 Injured Runner Cyclist (IRC):
- Marathon ka T-shirt, cycle shorts ke andar ya bahar – mood pe depend karta hai.
- Helmet – borrowed, dusty, thoda loose. Ya phir topi hi sahi.
- Ek pair mein knee support. Dusre mein bharosa.
2. Cycle Check – Dream Machine vs Dabba Deluxe
🚴♂️ TBC:
- Cycle nahi, spaceship hai. Carbon frame, electric gears, breaks bhi Bluetooth se chalte hain.
- Naam bhi diya hai: “Bella” – She’s Italian and emotional.
- Har ride ke baad polish hoti hai, jaise shaadi ke lehenga ki dry clean.
🚲 IRC:
- Cycle: terrace se uthayi gayi. Handle pe cobwebs the.
- Tyres mein hawa kam, ummeed zyada. Gears bas naam ke liye.
- Pichhle carrier pe chappal bandhi hai – for emotional support.
3. Chaal – Aero vs Ajeebo
💨 TBC:
- Low head, smooth ride. Jaise wind usse raasta de rahi ho.
- Talks in FTP, cadence, and RPM. Sab kuch metric mein hota hai.
- Pedal karta hai toh lagta hai symphony baj rahi ho.
😬 IRC:
- Seedha baitha, kabhi ek pair uthake. “Knee ko thoda rest de doon.”
- Pedals par fight jaise ho rahi ho. Har thoda mein “Oof, bhai!”
- Gaana chal raha tha – “Gardish mein taarein…”
4. Road Behavior – Bell vs Bhool
📢 TBC:
- “On your right!” ke saath aata hai jaise Usain Bolt ka bhai ho.
- Bell bajata hai rhythm mein. Ek baar – move. Do baar – respect. Teen baar – “Get off my road.”
📣 IRC:
- Bell? Wo to bachpan mein chori ho gaya tha.
- “Bhai side dena please… haan thoda sa… sorry!”
- Soundtrack: Knees ka crackling, breath ka gasping.
5. Strava Story – Glory vs Gham
📱 TBC:
- Ride upload hoti hai brakes lagte hi. Caption: “Zone 2. Legs fresh. KOM snatched.”
- Har ride ka naam: “Sunrise Symphony”, “Chasing Clouds”, etc.
📴 IRC:
- Strava start karna bhool gaya. Phir chai pe gaya.
- Duration: 5 hrs 37 mins. Distance: 9.4 km. Caption: “Cycle ki toh lag gayi.”
6. Mindset – Obsession vs Obligation
🧠 TBC:
- “Cycling is not a sport. It’s a lifestyle.”
- Rides plan hoti hain watts ke hisaab se.
- Dreams of Belgium climbs and Zwift FTP.
🧠 IRC:
- “Bas kuch toh kar loon jab tak daud nahi sakta.”
- Mantra: “Jab tak ghutna theek nahi hota, cycle se hi jugad.”
- Inner monologue: “Shoes kaise miss karta hoon…”
Final Thoughts:
So, agle time jab road pe ek missile jaisa banda dekho with expensive gear and aerodynamic dreams – woh true blood cyclist hai.
Aur agar koi thoda jhuka hua, thoda thaka hua, thoda under-repaired lag raha ho – woh main hoon ya mera jaisa injured runner.
Don’t judge, bas haath hila dena. Shayad hamesha ke liye nahi, par filhaal – hum pedal pe chal rahe hain.
